I will probably never understand the science behind being impeccably attractive or magnetic. But, for the most part, I've come to the conclusion that being genuinely likable isn't that hard. I've never really seen myself as someone with a ‘likable personality’ (maybe that has more to do with my own insecurities). However, I certainly try not to put myself down so much for my shortcomings. We're all still growing and maturing, and in the process of that, it's important that we give ourselves the grace and space to evolve into who we really are.
With that being said, what is a likable personality? Is attractiveness something you're simply born with? Or, is it something you have to create? In the somewhat superficial industry of fashion, music, and business, it seems to me that having or crafting a ‘likable personality’ is, perhaps, a necessary evil when promoting one’s self as an individual or a brand.
BRAND – Who you say you are. What you stand for. What you have to offer. Your selling potential as a product. Your ability to endure (longevity matters).
As a creator venturing into the digital space of influential hype and glamour, it can be extremely daunting and intimidating not knowing how to navigate your place as an up-and-comer. You might worry about whether you deserve to call yourself a ‘content creator’ (a somewhat more humbling title), or an influencer (a completely different league of individuals). So, what makes an influencer, INFLUENTIAL?
INFLUENCER – Established and undeniable selling potential. Popularity, garnered from social media metrics and engagement. Connections, through mutual, professional, and sometimes romantic or scandalous affiliations.
Popularity is the result of accumulated social or cultural interest and favourable opinions and recommendations that come from the lips of those who really matter (e.g. celebrities, public figures in business or politics, etc.). Popularity is a pressure word, and certainly one not without its weight of responsibility. But, what does this have to do with having a magnetic personality?
Intention is the keyword here. What is your intent in wanting to be liked by others? Is it because you enjoy the favours merited to you when other people are fond of you? Or, is your goal to build a brand with a loyal following that is completely separate from your own personal identity? So, of course, your brand must be one with a reputable image -- respected and trusted. Whatever your answer is, the desired results usually end up being the same.
No one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. Your brand will probably amount to nothing if it isn’t strongly admired or favourably recommended through word of mouth. You or your brand must have an irresistible quality that will surely pique the interest of others or potential buyers. But, that’s not all. The key to building a sustainable brand and ensuring longevity, is by continuously finding new ways or methods to keep your buyers interested in your product (e.g. keeping up with trends, rebranding when needed, assessing company culture or individual core values, etc.).
Alright, let’s humanize it now. How do you keep people engaged with you on a constant basis? Is it possible to make yourself more interesting to others without breaching the golden rules of authenticity?
GOLDEN RULES OF AUTHENTICITY -- Being a living representation of your core values. Standing up for what you believe in. Embracing what made people engage with you at the very beginning (go back to the drawing board). Being an imperfect role model that is still worthy of emulation.
For someone with a more introverted and reserved personality like myself, it might feel as though a lot of compromise and an abandoning of one’s self goes into simply wanting other people to like you. This might be true in a lot of cases. Some people do tend to travel too far in the journey of building a ‘likable brand’ or personality, that their process might entail a complete makeover or transformation that often renders them unrecognizable.
So, the question is: How far are you willing to go? Do you want to stay true to who you are? Or, do you want to become absolutely unrecognizable, even to those closest to you?
I know what I want…
I want to be authentic. I want to stay true to who I am no matter what.
I want to stand firm on what I believe in. I want to practice what I preach.
I want to build real, genuine, and long-lasting connections that stand the test of time.
I want to be human -- flawed, clumsy, naïve, soft, endearing, imperfect, evolving, forgivable, and redeemable.
I’ll have to apologize now for disappointing you, dear reader. Perhaps, you expected a curated list of all the ways you could become the most attractive person possible. Believe it or not, I certainly wouldn’t know.
In this artificial world captivated by capricious fame, likes, capitalism, and superfluous consumer culture (which we all still buy into) – I’m simply trying to create a space where I can truly show up as who I really am. Whether that is attractive or not to anyone else doesn’t worry me too much. I’ve chosen to carve a path for myself in this digital world of online content creation that will be less overwhelming, but will still bring in positive returns (hopefully). How that will happen, I’m not quite sure. “The reward is in the journey”, as a great artist once said. I’m only curious about the journey ahead, really – the places I will go, the people I will meet, and all the adventures waiting for me on the other side of my fear and reluctance to put myself out there, and pursue my dreams with effervescence and grit.
Magnetism is a by-product of attraction. Attraction is the by-product of curiosity. Curiosity is an attractive trait, and anyone with a substantial amount of allure or appeal, always has something knowledgeable or interesting to say that prompts the desire for an engagement or keen interest in the first place. In simpler words...
Stay curious.
Be educated and knowledgeable.
Know when to speak, and know when to listen.
Kindness is attractive.
Dress as though you are expecting something good to happen everyday.
Be prepared, always.
Leave your potty mouth at home.
Speak up for the marginalized and oppressed.
Be a smart worker, not just a hard worker.
Generosity is a gift that keeps on giving.
Don’t base your worth on the opinions of others.
Stand firm on what you believe in.
Evil association corrupts good manners.
Choose your circle wisely.
Never be found compromised.
Comparison is truly the thief of joy.
Be empathetic and reliable.
Go at your own pace, create your own speed.
It's not about how fast you arrive, but more about how far you can go.
Be who you really are.
You are enough.
In summary, stay true to who you are so that those who are meant for you will find you. Don’t get lost in the noise of unimportant things. The best place to be is where you are, doing what you love, and however it pleases you.
Thank you for making it this far. Thank you for being here. I’ll see you in the next story, friend.
Warmly, Grace.
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